Is “Wannabe Bridesmaid” a Thing?An Overthinking Mum’s Guide to Wedding Dress Codes

Written by Melissa Woods

We have a family wedding this summer in Dublin which we are all very excited about. It will be the first time we get to take our children to my (Melissa) homeland, to meet our extended family — and also the first time that our kids will get to go to a wedding.

And our eight year old daughter has decided she will be wearing “a wedding dress”.

By this she means:

Floaty.
Possibly white.
Definitely twirly.
Maximum main-character energy.

In her mind, weddings equal brides, bridesmaids and princess vibes.

And I think I heard her heart break when I said:

“But you’re not a bridesmaid though”

Not because she cares about that part but because she has his little heart set on the overall aesthetic she has pictured in her head.

It made me wonder — is this one of those faux pas that we associate with weddings?

Or have I invented a problem?

And if so, isn’t this how they all started? … ‘they’ being those seemingly baseless rules that weddings are full of.

Somewhere between innocently browsing cute dresses and rejecting anything too flouncy, I realised I was trying to avoid anything too bridesmaid-y.

But what even is that when we are talking about an eight year old girl who loves princesses?

Her idea of a wedding is fairy tale with a disco where everyone can dance. She wants to look the part.

And I’m over here policing imaginary boundaries like I haven’t built an entire wedding business that tells other people that they can do what they want!

The White Dress Panic 2.0

Let’s talk about the big one.

“Guests can’t wear white.”

We all know it. And we barely question it.

But historically? Queen Victoria wore white in 1840 and everyone loved it, so it became a thing. And of course, no one wants to upstage a bride (or any main-character) but surely it has more to do with intention, right?

So an eight year old in a floaty dress at a wedding?

Is that out of order?

Or have I just invented a new wedding crime?

I’ve built an entire brand around questioning wedding traditions. Around encouraging couples to do things differently. Around not blindly following micro-rules set by other overthinkers, like me.

What Am I Actually Worried About?

That someone might think she’s trying to look important?
That she might accidentally resemble an actual bridesmaid?

Realistically, most people aren’t threatened by a small human in pretty dress.

But wedding dress codes are a thing, right? I should probably just ask my cousin (whose wedding it is) She’s the one who gets to make the rules on her wedding day, not me.

The rulebook is already being rewritten.

So maybe we can afford to loosen our grip on the tiny things too.

So… Is “Wannabe Bridesmaid” Even Real?

I’m starting to think it’s one of those made-up wedding crimes that only exists if people allow it.

Weddings are not military operations.

They are gatherings of people you love, all dressed up and feeling like a million bucks!

If my daughter wants to feel like a princess for the day, maybe the correct response isn’t restriction.

The dress decision is still pending btw.

But the lesson is to question the tiny rules too.

The bigger, more well known ones get all the attention. But what about small, un-inherited ones that you might be making up in your own head?!