What I’d Do Differently If I Planned Our Wedding Today
Written by Melissa Woods
If I’m honest, when Ben and I were planning our wedding, I thought I’d enjoy it more than I did.
I thought I’d float through it… liquid lunches with friends, making beautiful decisions about music and outfits.
But instead, I got stressed. Properly stressed.
I remember when it first kicked in.
It was that sudden realisation that we actually hated most of what the traditional wedding industry had to offer.
There didn’t seem to be anything for people like us…
Not that there’s anything particularly special or out of the ordinary about us — we’re fairly average, really.
And that’s when it hit me.
Weddings felt out of date.
Like they hadn’t quite caught up with modern couples.
And then there was the sheer amount of work involved.
Which could have been fun… if time and money were no object.
But they were.
We both had full-time jobs.
And even with a healthy wedding budget, managing it all didn’t feel good.
If you’ve only just stumbled across MNT, then you probably have a much clearer idea of how this platform came to be — born entirely out of the frustrations of bride-to-be me.
Looking back now, I know exactly what I’d do differently if we were planning our wedding today.
I’d Stop Trying To Get It “Right”
There’s this invisible pressure when you’re planning a wedding.
To make the right choices.
To create something people will love.
To spend money on things that don’t matter to you.
And before you know it, you’re no longer asking:
Do we love this? Is this us?
You’re asking:
Is this what people expect? Will they be ok with this?
If I could go back, I’d care far less about playing it safe.
Because the weddings that stay with you are the ones that feel personal and authentic. Not the ones that ticked all of the usual boxes.
I’d Lean Much Harder Into Who We Actually Are
Ben and I met on a dancefloor in the 90s.
And while that would never have been the entire brief, music, friends, and good times have always been a huge part of what we’re about.
We definitely could have planned something that felt more like us.
Instead, we softened some of those edges to have a more ‘socially acceptable’ wedding.
We didn’t even notice it happening tbh
You just slowly start editing yourself to fit… what a wedding is “meant” to be.
If I was planning today, I’d go all in on the things that make us us.
The music.
The energy.
The slightly chaotic, joy-filled bits of our story.
Because those are the things your guests actually feel. And the reason they leave the celebration feeling like they know you both on a deeper level.
I’d Protect The Planning Phase More
This was a big one for me.
And no one really talks about it enough.
You get engaged and you’re on cloud nine for a while…
Then it’s time to get serious.
You spend months (sometimes years) planning this day…
And then it’s over in a flash.
So that middle bit?
That’s actually a huge part of the experience.
It’s the most stressful… and emotionally draining.
And I didn’t protect it.
I agonised over decisions.
Overthought everything.
Agreed to things I didn’t feel aligned with.
Not fun. Especially the closer it got.
I really wish I’d created more space for it to feel exciting.
More moments where it felt like something we were enjoying together rather than just getting through.
I’d Seek Out The Connection, Not Just The People To Do The Job
This is something I see all the time now.
Couples searching for photographers, florists, venues… ticking boxes.
But what they’re really looking for is connection.
When we were planning, that part felt harder to access.
We had a couple of key wedding suppliers where there was no connection, and it made things difficult.
Our wedding coordinator was awful to deal with… rude, and would rarely respond to my emails to enable me to push forward with our plans. It amplified my stress levels. And whilst we loved our venue, and the food, I would have sacrificed it all to not have to deal with that man.
Our photography was perfectly nice, and someone we chose because we liked his work but we like his approach on the day, and I know that if we’d have taken the time to meet him beforehand, we probably wouldn’t have booked him. But that’s on us.
This Is Exactly Why We Started Our Events
Because if we could go back… this is what we needed.
MNT Live Is Coming To London This Spring
After 7 years of organising our curated wedding fairs, we’re excited to introduce a new kind of wedding planning event.
Something more immersive.
Something that lets you feel your way through the process.
To experience the excitement of your engagement again.
To explore the planning stage without overwhelm.
To catch a glimpse of what your wedding could actually feel like.
That’s what MNT Live is.
It’s built around the whole journey.
From that first “we’re engaged” moment…
Through the decisions, the ideas, the energy…
Right through to that ‘on-the-day’ magic.
Join the MNT Live Waitlist
MNT Live takes place in London at The Ministry and Ministry of Sound on 31st May 2026
Tickets for MNT Live are being released on 28th March, with first access going to those on the waitlist.