How To Stay Regulated When Planning Your Winter Wedding
Written by Tina Chummun
If you’re planning your winter wedding, Congratulations! There’s something undeniably magical about a winter wedding. When you think of the twinkling lights, the velvet textures, the promise of warmth wrapped in crisp air and candlelight. But alongside the mistletoe and mulled wine can come moments of overwhelm, tight timelines, and emotional expectations. While winter weddings look serene from the outside, the inner world of planning and performing it can stir up a snowstorm of emotion. Especially for those of us carrying complex family dynamics, trauma histories, or sensitive nervous systems.
Let’s be honest, it’s hard to stay grounded when you’re juggling guest lists, logistical stress and a nervous system that might already be on high alert from the cold, crowds, or chronic burnout. And not to mention the forthcoming arrival of the festive season in addition to the chaotic mix. But here’s the good news, you can learn to self-regulate, to return to yourself gently, even when the world around you feels loud, really fast, or freezing.
Why winter wedding planning can dysregulate you
Weddings are inherently emotionally charged. You're not just planning a party, you’re stepping into a new era, navigating competing expectations, and often managing generational projections. Add winter’s natural physiological challenges, shorter daylight hours, reduced serotonin levels, seasonal affective symptoms and it’s no wonder your nervous system might be on edge. For LGBTQ+ couples, interracial or interfaith unions, or anyone planning a wedding that defies tradition, that dysregulation can double. And when you're under the emotional microscope, your body might go into survival mode - fight, flight, freeze or fawn. This is neurobiology. And it’s also something you can work with, not against. So you can still make new traditions whilst being aware of what’s happening for you.
Signs you might be dysregulated during wedding planning
You may not realise your nervous system is struggling. But here are the signs:
irritability over small decisions (napkins feel like nuclear codes)
digestive issues
headaches or chronic tension
overthinking, spiralling or catastrophising
feeling disconnected from your partner or emotionally numb
difficulty sleeping or frequent waking in the night, feeling either wired (“I have to keep going”) or exhausted (“I just can’t do this”)
Grounding and regulation strategies for winter wedding planning
Here are self-regulation techniques I use with clients who are planning winter weddings:
The thermostat technique
This is a visualisation practice for emotional temperature control. When stress rises, close your eyes and imagine an internal thermostat. Ask yourself: “What temperature am I at right now, emotionally, physically, energetically?” Then ask: “What would bring me one degree closer to calm?” Maybe it’s a hot drink, three deep breaths, a private cry or ten minutes alone. The goal is not complete calm — just better regulation.
The 5-4-3-2-1 senses reset
Use your environment to regulate: five things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, one thing you can taste. This brings you back into the here and now, where anxiety can’t live.
"Name it to tame it" with your partner
Stress thrives in silence. If you feel like you're unravelling, try saying: “I'm feeling emotionally cold, not just physically cold.” or “I’m here, but I need five minutes to land in my body.” Naming your experience allows your partner (or your chosen support person) to meet you in it, rather than fix it.
Winter weddings can be beautiful, but for many, they can carry even more of the invisible weight of emotional labour, managing family dynamics, identity safety, cultural exclusion or being “the first” in your lineage to do it this way. I hope these help you navigate your winter wedding plans a little easier, so you can enjoy the process, and of course, the day itself.
About the Author:
Tina Chummun MSc MUKCP, PG Dip CIM, BSc (Hons) is a Person-Centred Trauma Specialist Psychotherapist, Wellness Coach and Digital Marketing Consultant. Drawing on her background in psychotherapy and wellness, she helps people navigate life transitions, relationship challenges, and wedding stress with calm and confidence.
You can connect with Tina at care2counsel.com